Why do it?

Last night we had an impromptu potluck dinner in the woods; the food was great, the kids were running around on the plaza together, different adults playing with them in shifts; the long late-afternoon light made the new landscaping and the really beautiful architecture look even better...and I felt really happy, getting a very good reminder of why we put so much effort and angst and money into making this happen.

Denise Meier, Two Acre Wood, Sebastopol, CA, via the US cohousing WIKI

No strangers here

Over the holidays we had several visitors and since the weather was unusually nice (not raining!) the kids were all playing outside. At one point the kids were not visible and one of our visitors asked where my kids were. I shrugged and commented that I didn't know, they were probably at someone's house. She got this amazed look on her face and said something to the effect: " You just let you kids go into whomever's house they like?"

And I said sure, why not? There are no strangers here other than you. A few minutes later the kids all migrated over to my house and went into the basement and continued whatever game they were doing and again my visitor commented: "Don't people knock on doors before coming in?" I explained as best I could that there was an unwritten, but well respected code of conduct, where some houses you just came in, others you knocked and then went in, and others you knocked and waited for a response. My four year old, who had come into the room then added: "and at Stephana's house when you clean up the toys you get a gummie!" My four year old then explained, as only a four year old can, which houses had toys, where the cookies were in each house, and what toys she liked best at each of her friends houses.

My visitor's amazement at my daughter's knowledge of the inside of all the neighbors' homes made me aware what an amazing difference our neighborhood offers. I just take it for granted sometimes, forgetting how "unnormal" our lifestyle really is.

Rob Sandelin, Sharingwood, USA on the US cohousing WIKI

Extended family

In our community, one of the benefits is that single kids grow up with an extended family of instant brothers and sisters of various ages. This has the benefit to the child of having older sisters and brothers to adore (because there is no sibling rivalry). These other children can, depending upon their ages, act as siblings or sitters.

Also, as children grow into their teens and tend to become less communicative with their parents, there are other adults with whom they have become friends during their earlier years. We have seen it happen that this is where the teen can speak with a more mature friend, not a peer, when guidance is desired.

We have eight children, ranging in age from 1 to 15. Five boys, three girls. Not only is it great for the kids, but also the parents get a break as they swap children and have time for themselves as adults, with adult activities.

David Dobkin, The still unnammed Berkeley cohousing community, USA on the US cohousing WIKI

Bandage

I noticed one summer evening my daughter had a new bandage on her elbow. She had been playing on the other side of the community and had fallen down. A neighbor heard her crying, comforted her, brought her in and cleaned her up, bandaged the small scrape, fed her some cookies and juice and sent her off, good as new. I never even knew about it until I saw the bandage, my neighbor did exactly what I would have done.

Rob Sandelin, Sharingwood USA

Organisation

The older kids have decided they are in charge of designing the playground and have already gone through a couple of rounds of planning. A little while back they came to us and asked for help facilitating their meetings (we're still working on that - here's one for the list: how do you facilitate a meeting when the participants have 15 minute attention spans?). Then they told us they would be fundraising so they could have more control over what went into the playground. This from a group of kids whose median age is about 5.

Jessie Handforth Kome, Eno Commons Cohousing, Durham, NC, via the US cohousing WIKI

Delightful...

For a single woman, cohousing is delightful. I moved from an admittedly peaceful existence in my own quiet home in Santa Rosa to a community full of people and activity. The delight is that there is always someone around to have dinner with, to go to the movies with, or to sit on the patio and sip a margarita with and rave about how the garden is growing. No need to make complicated plans, or even drive!

The community meals a couple times a week are great to come home from work to (even if I'm cooking), but sometimes even nicer, are the spontaneous meals that occur between a few households that all have some food and good company to share.

Mighty greetings

We pull into our place. Just as we come in, Mary pulls into her spot. She bounces out of her car greeting us mightily. She's been to drumming class and is even more upbeat than usual. A moment later Tom lopes along with big ole Dailah. He asks about Malka who has an injured leg, and then he jokes with the kids about this or that. Holly waves from her kitchen sink, Koby hollers "goodnight Leo" in the direction of Leo's house though he is nowhere to be seen, and then Michael J appears with a friend. We make a date for early morning tennis. Excellent. There's cackling coming from Louise's house again. Marty spills out with Louise right behind. I tell them how nice it is to hear laughter again from Louise's. We all agreed. We weren't home two minutes and we'd seen six friends and neighbors, and hollered goodnight to another.

Steve Einstein, Two Acre Wood, Sebastopol, CA, via the US cohousing WIKI

Saying goodbye

The overriding event of this year for us has been May's passing. We took care of her in shifts, along with professional nurses, one of them the mother of a resident, for critical times. With so many people doing this, it never felt like a burden. People took turns coordinating her care, as well. That was a big task, and our best people organizers handled it seamlessly.

Liz Stevenson, Southside Park Cohousing, Sacramento California, , via the US cohousing WIKI

A few things

Sitting in a low grade funk and having a two year old come up and tell you all about their day and then realizing that the funk is gone and I'm smiling.

Creating a surprise wedding shower for a couple that never had one (they sort of eloped). They were very delighted.

Grabbing a rake meaning to clean up the fallen leaves and finding not only that somebody did the job, but they created piles in such a way that the kids could jump into them, a touch I would not have thought of and something I learned for next time.

Having an intense conversation with another adult about one of their problems, helping them find their needs, and then feeling wonderful when the whole situation worked out excellently. And then finding a loaf of fresh made banana bread-still warm - with a simple note of thanks. Extra wonderful!

Sitting quietly watching a squirrel collect cones to cache, and being joined, one by one, by 12 other people, who all spontaneously cheered as "our" squirrelly chased off another interloper who was intent of pilfering all that hard work.

There was a need for some extra computer storage, and within an hour no less than 3 zip drives are offered, and 20 zip disks.

Just about everyday some little thing goes on which shows you that the people who live here care about each other.

Rob Sandelin, Sharingwood, USA on the US cohousing WIKI